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Ten Tips For Visiting Naples

1. Don't read the negative reviews on TripAdvisor - I didn't follow this advice and I got terribly nervous when I read very negative reviews of the area where I was planning to stay and the quality of the hotels.  I have stayed in a lot of budget hotels in Spain and Portugal having walked the camino so had a good idea what to expect.  The hotel I stayed in while in Naples was fine, not brilliant but perfectly adequate and it was completely safe and clean.

2.  Don't book a hotel close to central station - Most of the cheaper hotels are located in this area and it is where I stayed.  If you are of a nervous disposition or not used to independent travel it will seem a little scary as there are street drinkers, homeless people and hustlers hanging around.  I see people like this every day in London and while it makes me sad I know that these people are absolutely no threat to me.  The city where I felt most nervous due to the huge numbers of ill and addicted people living on the street was central San Francisco.  There is a lot of petty crime in Naples but you just need to take the normal precautions you would in any other city.  One of my sisters had her passport stolen in Copenhagen and another had her purse taken in Paris.  There is crime everywhere but it shouldn't stop you from visiting Naples or any other city for that matter.

3.  Crossing the road - everything you read about how Neapolitans drive is true.  Moped riders weave in and out of cars and pedestrians.  Most of them don't wear helmets and often they are giving friends a lift.  I saw one moped with three adults on it.  Car drivers use only one hand to drive and with their other hand they either texting or pressing on the horn.  The noise level is incredible.  In the UK and Ireland horn blowing is frowned upon.  To cross the road at a crossing point you step out into the traffic.  Do not be put off by the cars speeding towards you as they will eventually stop.  The mopeds won't but they won't run you down either. I found this really frightening to begin with and generally waited until a local was crossing the road before trying to get to the other side of the street.  I then cottoned on to the fact that elderly and lame people and affluent women with toddlers in tow just stepped out and they weren't getting killed so I did the same and lived to tell the tale.

4.  Eat Lots Of Pizza - I had pizza four nights out of the five nights I was there.  I love pizza.  The best pizza I had was the cheapest from the hole in the wall place but all of them were really excellent.  Don't feel you are missing out if you don't manage to go to a recommended place. If you don't love pizza as much as me there are many other things to eat.  My one regret is that I didn't have enough ice cream while I was there.

5.  If a church is open visit it - On my first day I followed a walk which was in my guide book.  I must have gone into at least ten churches that day, some of which I later  re-visited.  A couple of them were quite gothic but most of them were over the top baroque.  I don't think I've ever seen so many painted ceilings. There were fewer gruesome statues than you get in Spanish churches but I did see a few plus quite a lot of relics, mainly leg bones and the odd skull.  Despite no longer being a practising catholic I do feel very at home in a church.

6.  Visit Pompeii and/or Herculaneum -  I went to Pompeii and was a bit overwhelmed by it.  There wasn't that much guidance on what you were looking at and it is enormous with no shade anywhere and even in October it was incredibly hot there.  By all accounts Herculaneum is much smaller, better preserved and less crowded.  After you have been to the sites go to the Museo Archaeologico Nazionale which has the best art and mosaics from both sites on view and it will help you understand what you've just seen.

7. Don't Be Afraid To Use Public Transport - It's really easy to catch a train to Pompeii or Sorrento.  The trains are not luxurious and will be covered in graffiti but they are both frequent and cheap and it's easy to buy tickets.  If you are just doing touristy things you probably don't need to use the metro but again it is easy to use and cheap. You should though use the funicular railway to get up to the hilltop area of Vomero where there is a park, a castle and a monastery.  I visited the monastery and it was stunning and had a church which would not have been out of place in the Vatican.  The views from here are fabulous as you look down at the roofs of the city, and in the distance the Bay of Naples, Capri and Vesuvius.  This area is also quite quiet compared to the centre.

8.  Where To Find A Quiet Corner - Before going to Naples I imagined I would spend quite a lot of time just sitting on a bench under the shade of a tree reading a thriller an improving novel.  There are no quiet spots in the Old Town and the only benches I found under trees looked out on to a dual carriageway.  I did eventually work out that where the quiet places could be found  were in churches, cloisters and museums.  I sat for a while completely on my own on the Museo Madre roof terrace and it was blissful.  I also sat in the garden of the Archaeological museum reading.

9. Bring Insect Repellant - there are a lot of mosquitos and I got bitten several times.

10.  See Naples And Don't Die - there is something that I think is actually quite dangerous in Naples and that's the state of the pavements.  It is a miracle that I didn't trip although once or twice I came close to it.  The city is poor and the budgets for things like street cleaning, graffiti removal and keeping the roads and pavements in good repair must be almost nil.  Be very careful walking around otherwise you could end up flat on your face.  Having said that I would highly recommend Naples for a break if you want to stuff your face with pizza and ice cream while getting a good dose of culture at the same time.  It's a bit of a cliche to say this but just watching life on the streets is one of the best things about the city and a reminder that they really do things differently in southern Europe... and finally, if you are a pale-skinned northerner you should probably avoid Naples in the high season as I found it too hot in mid October.

 

Last night before going to bed I sorted out my clothes for the next day and did most of my packing.  I worked out if I set the alarm for 6 I'd have time to check out and then have breakfast before walking to the station to catch the bus to the airport.  I use my iPhone as an alarm clock and I set it to go off at one minute intervals for five minutes so there was no danger of me not waking up.  I slept really well.

It was still dark when I woke up this morning and I fumbled for the phone to switch it off.  To my horror I saw that it was already 7 and I quickly realised that was the time I'd set the alarm to go off.  I shot out of bed and had a shower and then quickly shoved everything into my case.  By 7 15 I was downstairs checking out and then I went into the dining room and grabbed a cup of coffee and a croissant.  Five minutes later I was walking to the bus stop.  I had no idea how long I'd have to wait for the bus but was relieved that quite a few people with cases were already there.  Five minutes later the bus turned up and at one minute to eight we arrived at the airport.  

My flat was freezing when I got home.  Hard to believe that two nights ago I ate dinner outside.  Tonight I had dinner with Traybake.  We had comforting roast chicken and I provided a fruit salad for dessert.

I was sorry to miss the People's March today but I didn't fancy dragging my suitcase along with me as I demonstrated.  London Sister was there representing the ganching family and I was with her in spirit.

I'm off to bed now as my body clock is telling me it's almost midnight.  I think I might have to get the winter duvet out tomorrow.

 

 

Naples Day Five

My last day in Naples and I will be sorry to leave tomorrow. I spent most of today getting lost and wandering around berating myself for my stupidity.  When lost in a city by myself I get so flustered that I can't concentrate and I barge on regardless in the hope that I will miraculously end up in the right place.  It is surprising how often that actually happens.  Today I was looking for the Madre Museum which is the main contemporary art museum in Naples.  I consoled myself that getting lost was a way of seeing things I might have missed otherwise like the gate and this shop.  Once I took this picture I headed off in the wrong direction again and 20 minutes later found myself walking past it again.  The gallery was a few steps down the road from here.

I really enjoyed my visit to the Madre.  They had some really good pieces and one floor was all about Pompeii which was very good.  There was work by some British and American artists including an installation by Anish Kapoor - does he identify as British? - and some Gilbert and George who I loathe.  Best of all was the fact that you could get on to the roof and I had it all to myself for at least ten minutes.  I found a spot in the shade and just sat there watching the planes come in and disappearing over the hill.  European cities have beautiful skylines especially cities built on hills with lots of buildings with domes.

When I was buying my ticket the guy asked me where I was from.  I hesitated for a second and then said Ireland even though technically I live in the UK. I didn't want him to know that I lived in Brexitland.

I decided I was only going to do two more things which was to visit two church museums.  One of them I'd failed to find earlier in the week.  I knew it was quite close to a restaurant I'd eaten in a couple of days ago, a restaurant with wifi and outdoor seats.  I went to the square where the restaurant was situated and sat down on some steps within spitting distance of the tables.  The wifi worked and I found the location which was a three minute walk from the square.  The church was the Cappella Sansevero and it was the only church you had to queue to get into.  A baroque masterpiece with a very famous statue of a veiled Christ and downstairs a couple of skeletons with preserved arterial systems which was just as gruesome as it sounds.

I knew where  Santa Chiara was and walked there in five minutes. Unfortunately the church itself was closed but the cloisters were open and I had never seen anything like them before.  There were gaggles of girls in there posing and I decided watching them that Instagram is a curse.  The cloisters are decorated with frescos and majolica tiles in bright colours.  It was over the top but still charming.  I found a quiet spot and just sat there soaking up the atmosphere.  I decided that I could really get into meditation and then I felt something tickling my leg and it was a bastard mosquito.  I now have four more bites although thankfully I had an emergency supply of antihistamines with me and took one immediately.  I react very badly to mosquito bites and have worked out that taking a pill immediately does help.  

I had a disaster today.  My Fitbit is not charging properly and has failed to record my walking achievements today.  I freely admit to being addicted to it so this really is bad news.  I considered taking the lift in the hotel tonight because what's the point of doing exercise if it's not measured?  

I have to get up at six tomorrow so I should be trying to get to sleep.

Naples Day Four

Tonight I dined for the princely sum of 6 Euros.  I found a review of a little pizza place that was really close to here, here being the dodgy area around the station.  There is another pizza place which I spotted on my first night which had people milling around outside.  People queue there for up to 90 minutes to get a pizza firstly because the pizzas are really good and secondly because it has became famous due to Elizabeth Gilbert writing about it in Eat, Pray, Love. Quite a few of the reviews of the place I went to said it was as good the more famous one which is why I decided to go there.

I would never, ever go into a place like this normally.  It was tiny and very basic and no-one else was eating inside although there were a steady stream of people coming for takeaways.  

Undaunted I walked in and asked for a table.  There was only room for four tables as the pizza oven and the wood for the fire, took up about a quarter of the room.  The owner and his assistant (son?) were the only staff and they were busy.   I ordered a margarita and a bottle of water and I had to wait about ten minutes.  There was a television blaring away showing some Italian light entertainment programme with two middle-aged hosts wagging their fingers and getting the audience to chant.  It reminded me of the kind of stuff Traybake used to watch when he lived in Barcelona.

Most of the customers who came in knew the owner and there was lots of loud bantering going on.  I suspect I would have found it less entertaining if I had understood what they were saying.  All of the customers were men who looked like they worked with their hands.  One guy who came in had a bag with a couple of bottles of beer in it which he took out and put in the restaurant fridge to keep them cold while he waited for his pizza to come out of the oven

My pizza when it arrived was enormous.  The crust was thin and slightly blackened round the edges and the topping was sloppy and delicious.  It was one of the best pizzas I have ever eaten.

On the way back to the hotel I passed a woman who was wearing bizarre makeup and it took me a moment to work out that she was a sex worker.  Outside the station an impromptu market had been set up with blankets spread on the ground and counterfeit goods for sale.  A huge group of young teenagers were clustered round one them obviously excited by what was on offer.  I noticed one of them was wearing a veil and she also had a crucifix on and then I realised she was a nun and in charge of the gaggle even though she herself didn't look much more than 16.

I walked 22 kms today which is almost 15 miles.

S0me things the Neapolitans were very good at apart from making pizza.

• designing shopping centres in the 19C.  
• building churches
• painting baroque ceilings

It was very hot today again.  I finally found the area by the sea and I walked along watching the locals swimming and sunbathing on the rocks.  I imagine this is where all the people getting off the cruise ships go and they never venture into the more challenging areas that intrepid travellers like myself go to.

 

 

  

 

Naples Day Three

Today I managed to buy a ticket and catch the right train to Pompeii and I felt as proud as if I'd dug up the ruins myself.  To be honest it was really simple to get there.  I worked out that one of the things about being in quite a poor city is that there are still people employed to sell you tickets because companies don't invest in the kind of infrastructure that eventually makes people redundant.  Another thing I noticed is that when you travel on your own you are much more observant of how other tourists behave. On the train this morning there were lots of us going to Pompeii but there were also lots of locals.  A tourist family with children were sitting close to me and the old man next to them started talking to them and it was clear he was giving them advice.  At the next stop they all got off the train.  A middle-aged French couple noticed the family getting off the train and this worried them.  To be honest it had slightly worried me too but I knew I was being silly.  The train serves the suburbs and there were stops every two minutes.  To distract myself I looked out the window. On my side of the train I was looking straight at Vesuvius but neurotic as I am I wasn't worried about it erupting.  I told myself that if for some mad reason we had all missed the correct stop the worst that would happen is that we would have end up in Sorrento.  Of course we didn't and eventually the train arrived at Pompeii.

I saw a programme on television when I was a child about Pompeii and was morbidly fascinated by the idea of people being killed and some how frozen in time.  I imagined that you would wander round and see corpses eating their dinners and doing their homework.  I can confirm that no remains fo people are on view.  The other thing that shocked me is how large it is and the number of public buildings there were.  It must be hell to visit in high season when it would be more crowded and even hotter.  As it was I had to give up after three hours and I'm sure I missed lots.  I didn't go and see the brothel with the rude pictures on the wall seeing as I'm no longer 13 but I did see the fora and some of the temples and the amphitheatre.  Some incredibly important woman was visiting.  I only know she was important because she was surrounded by bodyguards and when someone asked to have a picture taken with her she instantly went into a full pose and I have to say looked pretty amazing for someone who was of a certain age.  Her husband looked like one of the Kennedy family, tall and handsome with very noticeable white teeth.  I imagine she was a minor European royal.  I managed to get a photo of her and I will show it to Traybake who is very good at facial recognition and could, if necessary get a part-time job helping the police out.  I am very bad at recognising people and have been known to completely ignore work colleagues if I see them out of context, for example, at the photocopying machine.

When I got back to Naples I went to the National Archaeological Museum which was very good as it should be as it has most of the best art from Pompeii and Herculaneum on display. It also has a secret room with rude pictures which I did go to see.  It was a little disappointing and one has to assume that the Romans were not very imaginative.

The museum was open late and I didn't leave until almost seven.  I walked into the Old Town and had, by Naples standards, an early dinner.  I dined like a queen for less than 20 euros finally having a proper pizza.  I said no to dessert and instead bought a tub of ice cream, coffee and Nutella, which I ate walking down the street on the way back to the hotel.

I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow.

This was in the metro station not the museum

 

 

Naples Day Two

Another day in Naples has passed without any adverse incidents.  Well I did get lost and I've eaten too much and I was attacked last night and am suffering the consequences today.  Luckily the attack was  by a mosquito not a pickpocket. When I got in last night my arm was incredibly itchy and covered in hives so I convinced myself I'd had an allergic reaction to the pizza fritto I'd had for dinner but  of course the hives were mosquito bites.

 I did one of those city walks today which was estimated to take 4 hours but it took me all day and I didn't even finish it.  I have been in a lot of churches and seen a lot of paintings and looked at a lot of monuments and bits of Roman remains. I also had a very good lunch and dinner.  I ate lunch outside in a square near a university building and there were gaggles of young people around shouting and taking photos of each other.  Some of them were carrying large bouquets of flowers and wearing laurel wreaths on their heads.  They also had bottles of fizz which they were drinking in the street.  Assume it must be an end of exams tradition.  I had dinner in a restaurant recommended by my sister who was here a few weeks ago and it was not only very good but was also three minutes walk from my hotel.

It is hot but only around 25c which is a temperature I can cope with.  I noted quite a lot of Panama hatted and linen jacket wearing men on the plane coming over but have seen no one like that in Naples.  Can only assume they were gong straight to Capri.

 

When I got back to the hotel in the late afternoon I lay down on the bed for a couple of minutes and woke up half an hour later.  Despite this I am hoping to be asleep before 10 30.  Tomorrow I have to be up early to go to Pompeii.

Naples Day One

Well I arrived in Naples and managed to get from the airport to the main station and find my hotel all without being robbed or run down by a moped.  It's dirty and noisy and there are lots of fairly poor looking people around so really it's like the majority of cities I've visited.  I imagine if you spoke Italian Neapolitans would be very good crack.

As is traditional I ended up on my first night eating in a not brilliant place.  I always think you have to be in a city for at least two days before you find anything decent to eat. I had a pizza fritta which is basically a fried pizza.  It was actually quite dangerous to eat as it was a folded pizza and was puffed up when it arrived at the table  As soon as I pierced it a great cloud of steam billowed out.  It is traditional dish here but not one that I'll be having again.  When I got back to the hotel Dr Leitrim Sister had sent me a message with a recommendation for a restaurant which is five minute's walk from my hotel so I will try to get dinner there tomorrow night.

My hotel is fine, basic with a comfortable bed and a good bathroom.  It is though a little noisy so I am glad I brought my earplugs.  Almost every hotel I've ever stayed in while walking the Camino has been incredibly noisy.  It must be a European thing and another reason why all decent Britsihers should reject Europe.  

I got into conversation with a woman in the airport queue who was on her way to Naples to do an audit.  I asked her how her company would be affected by Brexit and she said it would have a huge impact.  She then went on to say that there were pros and cons on both sides.  I said that I couldn't think of any pros on the Brexit side and then she said well, we managed before the EU existed.  I so wanted to give her a lecture on it including an idiot's guide to the Good Friday Agreement and how the world and how we do business has changed out of all recognition since the 1950s but then I decided it was a waste of time.  I assume that anyone who believes there are pros and cons on both side is a Brexiteer

It also occurred to me that the people leaving negative reviews for this hotel on TripAdvisor are doing so because there are quite a lot of black men around this district.

Tomorrow I'm going to explore the Old Town and go to the Museum of Archaeology.

The Plan That Came From The Bottom Up

When Traybake asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to come and see something in the London Film Festival with him I immediately said yes.  Somethings he omitted to tell me about this outing:

• that the film was scheduled for a Sunday morning which would mean leaving here just after ten
• that the entire audience would look old enough to have joined the CPGB sometime in the early 1950s
• That the film would last for several hours
• That a very senior member of the Labour Party would be in the audience

When we left it was raining.  After the freakish weather of yesterday we have returned to Autumn.  That must have been a relief for the people running in the half marathon in central London.  We had to work out how to cross the road to avoid the runners.  I'm guessing that the stretch through Trafalgar Square must have been quite late into the route most of the people we saw could not have been described as being athletic looking and many of them were walking.  I admired their grit and wished I could have done what they were doing.

The film we went to see was a documentary about a group of trade unionists in the 70s who came up with a plan for Lucas Aerospace to secure the jobs for its employees by stopping making bombs and instead concentrating on technologies that created social good, wind turbines and electric cars and sustainable energy, stuff that actually seems quite mainstream today but wasn't in the distant 70s.  It was really good and the trade unionists were so impressive but it could have been about an hour and a half shorter.  John McDonnell looking quite papal in a red jumper.

We didn't get home until five.

It is almost half ten and I haven't fully packed yet.  TB is not helping me with my anxiety as he pointed out that chances are I will get both robbed and run down by a moped.  Wish me luck.

Ten Things I Did Today

1. Talked to Leitrim Sister on the telephone who has been to Naples recently and she shared some tips about what to do there and convinced me that it is no more dangerous than Dublin or London.
2. Went to the market and bought one small plant and no food.
3. Marvelled at how unseasonably hot it was.
4. Worried about global warming.
5. Hung out one load of washing but did not put the ten bras I hand washed on the communal clothes line in case it gave any of the neighbours ideas.
6. Went to London Bridge and pushed my way through the hordes of people at Borough Market.
7. Walked to Tate Modern.
8. Went to the Anni Albers exhibition and admired the works on display and all the stylish women who had come to see them.
9. Admired the view of St Paul's.
10. Met Ms M and her sister for dinner in Blackheath and on the way home looked at all the young people out on a Saturday night in October enjoying a balmy evening and none of them wearing coats.

Holidays

I am now officially on my holidays.  I have a whole week off work.  On Monday I head to Naples.

I don't know if it due to the ongoing anxiety that everyone in my family is experiencing at the moment but I am finding it a little hard to get into the holiday spirit.  I considered cancelling the whole trip but then what else would I have done?

I am worried that my hotel will be horrible and that I will be robbed as soon as I arrive in the city. I know this is ridiculous.  I shall wear a money belt and try not to look too much like a gormless tourist.

I don't leave until Monday so I have all weekend to worry sort my flat out and pack.  The only thing I have planned for the weekend is a trip to the cinema on Sunday morning to see a documentary which is being shown as part of the London Film Festival.  This leaves lots of time for cleaning and decluttering.  I seem to have once again acquired huge amounts of clothes.  I have also allowed my books to pile up and need to make several deposits in the telephone box library.

Completely unrelated but who could believe that there is a person alive who could make Donald Trump appear almost normal?  Meet Kanye West!

The world has gone completely mad.