Route: Leigh to Sevenoaks from Time Out Country Walks book.
The mind is a wonderful thing. I've done this walk at least twice and can confirm that it is the dampest, muddiest, boggiest, swamp like walk that it is possible to do in the whole of south east England. I did this walk with the Surly Niece in heavy rain and at one point was sucked into a quagmire well above the level of my boots. Having watched too many cowboy films as a child, I was convinced that I would be sucked under and I have to say the SN was very unsympathetic when I became completely hysterical. I did it again last year and on that occasion I had to cling to barbed wire and walk crab-like along a hedge rather than sink into the mud. Somehow I'd forgotten all about this when I suggested we do this walk on Sunday.
Distance: 9 miles. 9 miles isn't a particularly long walk, that is if a person was walking through normal countryside. When walking in ankle deep mud, clabbery, slabbery mud that clings to your boots weighing you down, it is a very long walk indeed.
Weather Conditions: Mist, damp, light rain. For January it was reasonably mild however the light was poor and due to the mist it was difficult to see much. This was probably for the best.
Companion(s) Traybake and Soda Farl. This is the first time we have gone for a walk together for a very long time. TB spends all his time working and SF has been writing every weekend. They each decided to have a day off and as a result were both in very skittish moods. Despite their towering intellects most of the day was spent in them discussing the joint literay work they have been planning for some time, working titile: Saddle Her Up. The characters are entitled Miss Honeybush, Sir Roger Thoroughgood and Major C. Ingtoo. It was a long day.
Food: Picnic eaten while standing in a used car lot next to abusy road. Picnic consisted of slice of rustic bread and one minature baby bel cheese plus one cheese triangle and three squares of chocolate. Afternoon tea in Knole park cafe - one cup of hot chocolate and slice of ginger cake with lemon icing. Hot chocolate very disappointing. Cake very satisfactory.
Physical state post walk: appalling. Towards the end of the walk I began to have a pain in my lower back which was quite niggling. By 9 p.m. it had turned into a searing pain and I could barely move plus had begun to develop a cold. I spent the night alternatively hacking my lungs out and squealing with pain every time I accidentally moved. Today was also a long day.
Marks out of 10: 3
Hope the next walk is less clabbery and slobbery. Hows the back now?
Posted by: Leitrim sister | January 07, 2013 at 10:56 PM
I hate being auto corrected that should say slabbery
Posted by: Leitrim sister | January 07, 2013 at 10:59 PM
I's sorry, but I laughed out loud at the very droll description of your walk.You have a very dry wit (if not dry boots)!
Posted by: Dorothy | January 08, 2013 at 02:09 AM
Your poor thing - I hope you feel better soon. Your account of TB and SF joint literary work made me think of Philip Larkin and Monica Jones, jointly defacing a copy of Iris Murdoch's Flight from the Enchanter, "taking it in turns to interpolate salacious comments and corrupt the text". I just reread that passage, complete with examples (it's in Alan Bennett's Writing Home), and there are tears in my eyes. Yes, I am easily amused.
Posted by: Annette | January 08, 2013 at 09:42 AM
I am still suffering and not just from over exposure to TB and SF's filth.
Posted by: ganching | January 08, 2013 at 08:09 PM
I completely adore this walk report.
It was utter genius to include a food section.
I look forward to the next outing - If you survive your ladyflu.
Posted by: carolbaby | January 09, 2013 at 11:37 AM