Longstanding readers of this blog know that the only reason I'm writing it is to make a pile of money. So far I have not been very successful so I have decided that I have to explore other avenues.
Obviously my backup position is to find and marry an extremely rich man. Of course, it goes without saying, that I will be doing this in a post-feminist-north-London-ironic kind of a way and this action will in no way compromise my core values and political beliefs. (He will have to be good looking as well as rich, and not read science fiction.)
Sadly, this looks like it is going to take some time so in the meantime I have been thinking of alternative options.
I was sitting at home the other night when suddenly, just like that, I had a brilliant idea. Immediately I telephone Traybake as he would get a quare gunk if I was to go off and pursue this idea by myself, especially as he is quite crucial to the plan working.
- Traybake, I'm just after having a brilliant idea!
- Modest as ever. Hang on 'til I turn down the wireless. I was just in the middle of listening to a really interesting talk by Marina Warner on Kate Moss and Marian symbolism through the centuries.
- Jakers, I didn't know you knew who Kate Moss was. Who's Marina Warner? Anyway back to my idea. You and me are going to write a book!
- What? A book? With you? Write? I don't think so!
- No, listen. I'm going to say some things to you. Direction of travel. 350 degree appraisal. Blue sky thinking. I'm passing the monkey to you.
- Stop it. You can keep your ould monkey. You're making my ears bleed.
[I outline my plan to TB, but obviously I cannot be precise here as the idea is so brilliant that it would be immediately stolen if I wrote it down and published it on the internet]
- Hmmm, I suppose it has some merit as an idea but obviously I couldn't possibly do it. I would lose all my academic credibility. I wouldn't be able to show my face in the Senior Common Room!
- Yes and I'm sure the Vice Chancellor would stop inviting you for sherry as well. C'mon you have to admit it -it's a feckin' brilliant idea. Anyway we'll do it between us. It'll be a lowbrow book for highbrow people. You can write all the highbrow bits that people will skip and I'll do the funny stuff!
After I put the phone down I spend an enjoyable twenty minutes deciding what to wear when I am photographed for my interview in The Guardian and which amusing anecdotes I will share with the other panellists on the Newsnight Review...........
TO BE CONTINUED
oh, hurry, please do, I am going on a holiday soonish, and wish to read this marvellous thing.
I shall put in my order now , for if it amuse me half so much as these little pieces then I shall be happy indeed.
Posted by: fifi | June 09, 2007 at 10:28 AM